


Overwatch Surveillance Mission: Talon Covert Ops

by Jushi



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-08-27 02:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8384461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jushi/pseuds/Jushi
Summary: Talon is spying on Overwatch's communications. Little did they know that it was different than they expected.





	1. this is basically overwatch

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Overwatch Emergency Communication Channel (I Swear, It's Emergency Only)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573) by [ArcaneAdagio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcaneAdagio/pseuds/ArcaneAdagio). 



> hello! I'm Jushi, and this is my very first fanfiction. sorry if its not what you expected or if its not as quality as it should be! enjoy! I was inspired to make this from another creator on this site called ArcaneAdagio, who made the fic I was inspired by. Check her out! n-n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> contaminated peanut butter  
> hope you enjoy :>

### 1\. this is basically overwatch

#### TALON COVERT OPS TEAM 34: OVERWATCH SURVEILLANCE MISSION

[START LOG]  
10/25/16- Started Overwatch Surveillance Mission.  
Comments: Starting a full scouting of their communications, hoping to get some vital information to give to Widowmaker.  
[END LOG]

**[WINSTON CREATED OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

WINSTON: Fellow Overwatch agents, I created this channel for us to communicate no matter where we are. This channel will help us communicate in battle and come up with strategies no matter what the condition is in battle. I trust you all will use this channel accordingly.

**[JAMISON FAWKES entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL]**

JAMISON: WOAH HEY WHAT'S THIS

  
**[REINHARDT entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL]**

REINHARDT: aah, the communicators. just like old times.

**[HANA SONG entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL]**

HANA: ooh hey a chat room!

HANA: brb gonna get the rest of the gang!!!

**[HANA SONG went idle.]**

WINSTON: Oh god.

**[LENA OXTON entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL]**

**[LÚCIO CORRIEA DOS SANTOS entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL]**

**[ANGELA ZIEGLER entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL]**

HANA: everyone else is on a mission or something, these are the only kiddos I found around hq

ANGELA: Kiddos?

HANA: yeah, you guys are smol and young :3

ANGELA: I'm 37 years old.

LENA: i'm 26!

HANA: o h

HANA: wait hold on lemme change my name

**[HANA SONG changed name to D.VA]**

D.VA: ok

REINHARDT: would anyone like to join me in listening to hasselhoff?

LÚCIO: I got all the albums man

REINHARDT: literal tears came to my eyes

LÚCIO: you up for some hasselhoff karaoke after?

REINHARDT: HAHAHA! I LIVE FOR THIS!

LÚCIO: that's what's up.

**[LÚCIO left OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[REINHARDT left OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[JESSE MCCREE entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

MCCREE: what in the

D.VA: hiiii _jesse_

MCCREE: howdy

TRACER: this chat is a bit of a damp squib

D.VA: what

ANGELA: what

MCCREE: english only pls

D.VA: 우리 모두 미국인이다하지

MCCREE: athena can you translate that

**[ATHENA V.1.4.0.2.32448 ONLINE]**

ATHENA: Access denied.

MCCREE: was it because i didn't give you tips on how to propose to siri all those years ago

ATHENA: Yes.

**[ATHENA V.1.4.0.2.32448 OFFLINE]**

MCCREE: sassy

**[LÚCIO entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[REINHARDT entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

REINHARDT: I MAY BE OLD BUT MY VOCAL CORDS ARE AS STRONG AS EVER

LÚCIO: bro how did you get an S on Jump in My Car?

REINHARDT: being old has its benefits

JAMISON: OI YOU GUYS WANNA SEE ROADIE THROW HIS GAS CONTAINERS INTO WINSTON'S PEANUT BUTTER STASH

D.VA: OHOHOOHOHO

LÚCIO: OHMY GOD

ANGELA: I won't be watching, but tell me what happens. :^)

**[MAKO RUTLEDGE entered OVERWATCH COMMUNCATION CHANNEL]**

**[MAKO RUTLEDGE changed name to ROADHOG]**

ROADHOG: Jamison is giving me $50 if Winston falls for it.

**[ROADHOG went idle.]**

D.VA: KEKEKE

LÚCIO: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

**[JAMISON FAWKES changed name to JUNKRAT.]**

JUNKRAT: I OWE HIM $50 NOW FML 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i take suggestions/prompts! thanks for reading :>


	2. omnic party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whale noises > ( ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im back with another chapter, hope you guys enjoy this one it was fun to make lol okay cya

### 2\. omnic party

[START LOG]  
10/27/16- Sensed signs of internal betrayal in Overwatch.  
Comments: why does widowmaker not like my opinion on tracer .-.  
[END LOG]

**[E-34 entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

E-34: bweep.

**[E-34 changed name to BASTION.]**

BASTION: wee woo!

**[ZENYATTA entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

ZENYATTA: I see Bastion is enjoying himself over there.

BASTION:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) _bweep bwoooooooop_

ZENYATTA: That is not what I meant.

**[D.VA entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

D.VA: what even is that lol

ZENYATTA: According to my sources, it's an emoticon from about 60 years ago.

D.VA: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

D.VA: im just waiting for the rest of the gang to abuse this

**[JESSE MCCREE entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[REINHARDT entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[LÚCIO entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[TRACER entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[GENJI SHIMADA entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[JUNKRAT entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

D.VA: oh my god please no

MCCREE: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

REINHARDT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUNKRAT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

TRACER: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

GENJI: I do not know what is going on

REINHARDT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

MCCREE: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUNKRAT: I FOUND OUT HOW TO MAKE A KEY INSTANTLY TYPE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) AND SEND IT

D.VA: _NO PLEASE_

JUNKRAT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUNKRAT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUNKRAT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUNKRAT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUNKRAT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUNKRAT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUNKRAT: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

REINHARDT: ooh I found it too

**[WINSTON entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

D.VA: uh oh popo

WINSTON: To keep sanity throughout the entire Overwatch team, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) has been excluded from this chat from now on.

JUNKRAT: ****

JUNKRAT: BLIMEY

REINHARDT: lenny is my childhood and you killed him

D.VA: right when I was about to contribute

REINHARDT: rip the dream

D.VA: what does that mean

REINHARDT: it was from my time do not ask

GENJI: I am glad this madness has stopped

ZENYATTA: At last, peace can now be restored.

JUNKRAT: ( ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡°)

JUNKRAT: IF YOU SPACE IT OUT IT WORKS

REINHARDT: ( ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡°)

REINHARDT: THE DREAM

ZENYATTA: _OK AS AN OMNIC I HAVE NO USE OF A COMMUNICATOR AND THIS SOFTWARE WAS INSTALLED INTO ME. ME. I CAN FEEL YOUR WORDS THROUGH THE SOUNDS I HEAR AND I FELT THAT FACE THE PAST 10 MINUTES PLEASE NO_

GENJI: Master would you like me to get you some chamomile tea and pull up the [10 hour whale sounds video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtT2DpTiex4)

ZENYATTA: Thank you, young pupil. Peace has been restored.

WINSTON: Do you see the consequences of the lenny?

JUNKRAT: YEAH

MCCREE: i need breakfast what's for breakfast

**[ANGELA entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

ANGELA: I made some pancakes.

**[FAREEHA AMARI entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[FAREEHA AMARI changed name to PHARAH.]**

PHARAH: I helped.

ANGELA: _owo_

TRACER: so how was that _( ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡°) cooking sessh_

ZENYATTA: OK HOLD UP WHO JUST

TRACER: why do i feel very vulnerable

ZENYATTA: THIS IS FOR INTERUPPTING MY WHALE NOISES

WINSTON: Oh no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suggestions are welcome! ty for reading! updates are still gonna be a bit slow.


	3. check all your rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> emotional confusion  
> shrimp snacks  
> and edginess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THE FORMATTING AND IT TOOK ME AN EXTRA HOUR TO FIX THE ENTIRE FIC AND ITS 1 A.M AND IM SOBBING BUT I PUSHED THROUGH AND DID IT FOR YOU GUYS TY SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING ENJOY THIS CHAPTER

### 3\. check all your rooms

[START LOG]  
10/28/16-widowmaker's missing. idk what to do :^)  
Comments: Whale noises help me sleep now.  
[END LOG]

D.VA: ughh im so bored

LÚCIO: winston did you fix the rec room yet?

WINSTON: I wouldn't even have to if someone wasn't playing soccer indoors.

LÚCIO: um my question is why tracer leaves all her bombs in a single box in the rec room

**[TRACER entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

TRACER: how else can I practice

**[GABRIEL REYES entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

D.VA: UM

TRACER: OI WHAT

WINSTON: I can't track the signal. What's happening?

**[GABRIEL REYES changed name to REAPER.]**

REAPER: **Hello, Overwatch agents.**

D.VA: can you not be edgy in a chatroom

WINSTON: Communication channel.*

D.VA: whatever

REAPER: **I suppose you haven't seen Jack around lately, no?**

D.VA: ooh is he your boyfriend :^)

REAPER: **Death is more powerful than love.**

**[REINHARDT entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

REINHARDT: winston can you help me my shield is damaged

WINSTON: What's wrong?

REINHARDT: there's a hole in it from all the edginess in here

REAPER: **You call it edge, I call it a lifestyle. In a meaningless world.**

D.VA: ffs

D.VA: go home and continue listening to evanescence you 13 year old

**[D.VA muted REAPER for 5 minutes.]**

REINHARDT: lol

D.VA: what a scrub

**[PHARAH entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

PHARAH: I need to learn how to bake.

**[ANA AMARI entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

ANA: i can help with that

PHARAH: WAIT

D.VA: wAIT

WINSTON: WAIT.

REINHARDT: oh hey ana

ANA: suh guys

ANA: how ya doin reinhardt

REINHARDT: WAIT DOES THAT MEAN THE FUNERAL WAS A FAKE

ANA: lol me and jack are still laughing about those

WINSTON: Wait. Jack Morrison?

ANA: wait no lol

PHARAH: MOM

PHARAH: YOU'RE ALIVE?

ANA: how do you think im sending messages daughter get your stuff together

PHARAH: Yup, that's mom.

ANA: anywho I can teach you how to bake

WINSTON: You're inside already?

ANA: ive been in the basement for 25 years

PHARAH: WHAT

**[MCCREE entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

MCCREE: that's probably why i wake up in front of the basement door sometimes

ANA: the keyhole fits my darts perfectly

MCCREE: wow

D.VA: is it lunch time?

MCCREE: its-

ANA: im going to dump the contents of my sleep darts into your esophagus if you say it

MCCREE: ok chILL

**[JUNKRAT entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL.]**

JUNKRAT: OI ROADIES ABOUTTA TRY AND USE HIS HOOK AS A GRAPPLING HOOK

WINSTON: I just fixed up the place, man.

JUNKRAT: UM D.VA THE CEILING FELL ON YOUR ROOM

D.VA: MY CONSOLES

MCCREE: lol junkrat cya pardner

ANA: sleep now korean gremlin

D.VA: DONT CALL ME A

**[D.VA went idle.]**

PHARAH: Nice one, mom.

PHARAH: Mom stop dabbing.

ANA: it was from my time and it will never get old

JUNKRAT: WHAT'S A DAB

PHARAH: Oh god no.

REAPER: **Death can't be muted.**

ANA: oh ffs its this edgy 14 year old again

REAPER: **Ana.**

ANA: im not helping you make your mariachi cover of "Bring Me To Life" again gabriel

REAPER: **Screw you.**

REINHARDT: me and lucio are having a race who wants to join

ANA: ill join

TRACER: i might not be good, but ill try!

REINHARDT: wow tracer

REAPER: **Death is faster than all of you.**

ANA: if I see another "Death" i swear

REAPER: Death doesn't get sca

ANA: lol bye

**[REAPER went idle.]**

ANA: i used my strongest dart on him rip he'll be out for a while

WINSTON: I guess you could say

WINSTON: He can't wake up.

REINHARDT: OOOHHHH

JUNKRAT: HOLY

TRACER: GOOD ONE BUDDY

ANA: LMAOOO

D.VA: I WAS ASLEEP WHAT HAPPENED

JUNKRAT: SCROLL UP

D.VA: WINSTON YOU ANIMAL

WINSTON: Heh, thanks guys.

**[JACK MORRISON entered OVERWATCH COMMUNCATIONS CHANNEL.]**

ANA: ooh hey

REINHARDT: why are so many people who I thought were dead alive im emotionally torn

D.VA: who is he?

ANA: he's your dad

D.VA: ( ͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ °)

**[ZENYATTA entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL.]**

D.VA: oh god

JUNKRAT: YOURE SCREWED MATE HAHAH

TRACER: it's not fun trust me

ZENYATTA: My current mood coincides with this old meme I found called "breathe in boi."

ANA: I LOVED THAT MEME LOL 

REINHARDT: OH MY GOD

**[JACK MORRISON entered OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

**[JACK MORRISON changed name to SOLDIER:76.]**

76: I just fixed this spare communicator in Australia, sorry for any confusion.

ANA: pfft 

REINHARDT: now im emotionally torn and confused

D.VA: we're out of apple slices!!

76: on it 

ANA: _dad_

D.VA: i see now

76: no i needed to head to the store anyway

D.VA: sure

WINSTON: 76, was that you who just opened the west exit?

76: yeah

76: i've been in the attic for 25 years

WINSTON: Oh my god.

WINSTON: Anyone else living inside unused rooms for more than 20 years in this headquarters?

**[REINHARDT changed name to SOMBRA.]**

D.VA: umm

SOMBRA: I have, but mostly in the form of a virus in Athena.

WINSTON: WAIT WHAT?

SOMBRA: DORADO IS GONNA BE LIT ON 11/1/16

SOMBRA: BE THERE OR BE A STUPID GEOMETRIC SHAPE

**[SOMBRA changed name to REINHARDT.]**

REINHARDT: oh its working again

JUNKRAT: THAT WAS SPOOKY

D.VA: i mean it is halloween soon 

WINSTON: Are you guys gonna ignore the fact that someone hacked our comms and there's a virus in Athena?

MCCREE: just got back from the store and i saw a white robocop

76: that was me jesse

MCCREE: why'd you buy like 10 packs of shrimp snacks 

D.VA: 당신 너무 많은 아빠 감사합니다!!!

76: you ruined the surprise goddammit

D.VA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

WINSTON: HELLO WE MIGHT LOSE VITAL INFO?????

WINSTON: Eh, i'll just grab Symmetra and Zarya. We'll fix this.

TRACER: oi can I help? :D

WINSTON: Only if you don't bring an entire basket of fish and chips like last time.

TRACER: ugh fine

76: i brought coxinhas! 

LÚCIO: OOH MY GOD

LÚCIO: THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH 

76:im just doing my duty

D.VA: dad confirmed 

76: stop im just a helpful person

ANA: a helpful honda person?

76: jfc

REAPER: **Jack.**

76: OH FFS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one took a long time to make, ty for reading bbs c:


	4. korexicans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mexican hackers  
> the birth of the power couple  
> lucio is actually a secret revolutionary leader  
> jack's sweat
> 
> edit: and yes, going with the headcanon sombra hacked her files to say she's older fINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoy this one! it took a long time to make lol

### 4\. korexicans

[START LOG]  
11/4/16- lmao this mexican chick is hilarious  
Comments: i need a vacation  
[END LOG]

**[D.VA joined OVERWATCH COMMUNICATION CHANNEL.]**

D.VA: this chatroom name is too bland

**[D.VA changed channel name to SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

D.VA: better

**[LÚCIO joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

LÚCIO: anyone up to go to a restaurant

D.VA: im starting up my stream so sorry ;-;

D.VA: ill stay in the chat tho

  
**[REINHARDT joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

REINHARDT: can we get some mexican food?

LÚCIO: yeah man im up for some enchiladas

REINHARDT: aight lets bounce

**[LÚCIO and REINHARDT left SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

**[MCCREE joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

MCCREE: ana can you not mix chili powder into your sleep darts

**[ANA joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

ANA: its in the spirit of dia de los muertos

MCCREE: that's over already

ANA: im still celebrating it

MCCREE: ana

ANA: jessse

MCCREE: lets invade d.va's stream

MCCREE: beat her at her own game

ANA: im like 60 dude the only games im good at are battlefield 1 and osu

MCCREE: shoot

MCCREE: im bored what can we do

ANA: i can make u live forever

MCCREE: how?

ANA: we need some sleep darts and peanut brittle

**[WINSTON joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

WINSTON: Oh my god, who changed the channel name?

WINSTON: I don't care at this point lol.

MCCREE: winston can i borrow your peanut brittle?

WINSTON: I only have peanut butter, why?

MCCREE: im going to live forever like grandma said

WINSTON: I

WINSTON: Ana, stop filling the young one with unrealistic dreams.

ANA: shush you'll damage his brain

WINSTON: Years of fighting omnics damaged his brain already.

MCCREE: didn't i go through brain surgery

D.VA: WHAT THE

WINSTON: What's wrong, Hana?

D.VA: SOMEONE TOOK DOWN MY STREAM

WINSTON: Oh ok.

D.VA: HELP

**[SOMBRA joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

WINSTON: Uh oh.

SOMBRA: you just got xXx_h4ck3d_xXx korean girl

D.VA: YOU NERD

D.VA: OHOHOHOHO YOU DO NOT MESS WITH A KOREAN GIRL WITH A HUGE FANBASE

SOMBRA: ooh im so scared

WINSTON: IS ANYONE GONNA ACKNOWLEDGE THAT AN UNAUTHORIZED PERSON JUST HACKED INTO OUR CHANNEL?

SOMBRA: i will

WINSTON: Oh my god.

D.VA: looks like my fans found your accounts, sombra

SOMBRA: wtf how

D.VA: the fanboys will do anything to help me

SOMBRA: hah, try again i set up 3 new accounts

D.VA: they already found those

SOMBRA: wow they are rude af

SOMBRA: brb

MCCREE: catfight

D.VA: WTF HAPPENED TO MY APM.TV ACCOUNT

SOMBRA: boop ;)

D.VA: O///O 

D.VA: STOP BEING CUTE

MCCREE: OHOHOHOHOHO

WINSTON: WHAT

ANA: go get em, daughter

D.VA: FKCAKLFKCK I DIDN'T MEAN THAT

SOMBRA: :^)

SOMBRA: oh who accidentally leaked a screenshot of that ;)

D.VA: NOOOOO

D.VA: HELP PEOPLE KEEP MESSAGING ME "CANT WAIT FOR THE KOREXICAN CHILD"

D.VA: THERE'S ALREADY FANART

D.VA: ItS nOT eVEN A SHIP

ANA: it is now

SOMBRA: well, the cops are here, I gotta bounce

SOMBRA: see ya later cutie

SOMBRA: boop ;)

**[SOMBRA left SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

D.VA: NO STOP

D.VA: NONONONONO

MCCREE: lmao someone has a crush

D.VA: I WILL KICK YOU IN THE BALLS SO HARD YOU WILL URINATE OUT OF YOUR CEREBRAL CORTEX

MCCREE: JESUS

ANA: the body doesn't work like that

ANA: sadly

D.VA: IM SO MAD

ANA: you're so red lol

MCCREE: from all the blushing

D.VA: THAT'S IT

**[D.VA went idle.]**

MCCREE: ANA HELP ME SHE'S PUNCHING HOLES IN MY ROOM

ANA: lol your fked

**[SOLDIER 76 entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

76: what did I miss

ANA: the future of the first lesbian couple powerhouse

76: wtf

MCCREE: UM HELP SHE'S ABOUT TO BOMB MY ROO

**[MCCREE went idle.]**

76: jesus christ

D.VA: DAD A MEXICAN LADY HACKED MY STREAM

76: DID SHE HURT YOU

D.VA: NO BUT SHE DID SOMETHING TO ME

76: SHRIMP SNACKS ARE IN THE PANTRY AND PIZZA IS ON THE DINNER TABLE, DAD'S GOT SOMEONE TO TEACH A LESSON TO

**[76 left SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

D.VA: best dad come thru

D.VA: HOLD UP ANA I SAW THAT MESSAGE

ANA: what are you gonna fight an old lady

D.VA: no ma'am that's disrespectful

ANA: cuz this old lady ain't gonna sit back and be beaten

D.VA: OH YOu'RE ON

ANA: hana, look, your right! a mexican hacker!

D.VA: OH MY GOD WHERE

ANA: night night

**[D.VA went idle.]**

WINSTON: I leave for 30 minutes and the entire east quadrant is nuked.

ANA: this korean child is my new fav

WINSTON: I need to hire some construction workers, i'll see you guys soon.

**[WINSTON left SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

**[LÚCIO joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

**[REINHARDT joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

LÚCIO: what'd we miss?

ANA: oh my god scroll up and read what happened

ANA: holy jesus i forgot mccree got nuked

ANA: hold on

REINHARDT: looks like hana has a new crush!

**[D.VA joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

D.VA: STOP

LÚCIO: @everyone KOREXICAN CHILDREN INBOUND

D.VA: LÚCIO I TRUSTED YOU

**[JUNKRAT entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

**[ANGELA entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

**[PHARAH entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

**[ROADHOG entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

**[BASTION entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

**[TRACER entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

**[GENJI entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

D.VA: IM SO DONE

D.VA: IM LEAVING BEFORE THIS GETS WORSE

**[D.VA left SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

LÚCIO: @everyone SCROLL UP

JUNKRAT: KOREXICANS

PHARAH: KOREXICANS

REINHARDT: KOREXICANS

LÚCIO: @everyone STAND MY BRETHEREN AND JOIN ME IN REVOLUTION AGAINST THE KOREAN GIRL'S CHAINS OF DISAPPROVAL OF US SHIPPING HER WITH SOMBRA #thekorexicanrevolution

REINHARDT: preach my friend

ANGELA: I'm not one to take part in revolutions.

GENJI: ...

GENJI: #thekorexicanrevolution

JUNKRAT: #thekorexicanrevolution

BASTION: #thekorexicanrevolution

ROADHOG: Um, no thanks.

REINHARDT: #thekorexicanrevolution

WINSTON: I need to stop this before it gets worse.

LÚCIO: WE ARE UNSILENCED

LÚCIO: BAND TOGETHER AND PREACH BEFORE THE SILENCING

GENJI: #korexicansquadunsilenced

JUNKRAT: #korexicansquadunsilenced

PHARAH: #korexicansquadunsilenced

REINHARDT: #korexicansquadunsilenced

LÚCIO: #korexicansquadunsilenced

SOMBRA: #korexicansquadunsilenced

REINHARDT: WAIT WHEN DID YOU GET HERE I DIDN'T SEE YOU ENTER THE CHAT

**[D.VA entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

D.VA: I LEAVE FOR 5 MINUTES AND I HATE YOU ALL

SOMBRA: hi cutie ;)

REINHARDT: SHE'S BLUSHING LOL

D.VA: AM NOT GRAMPS

SOMBRA: aww

REINHARDT: Attached image: KOREXICAN.JPG 

SOMBRA: O///O

PHARAH: I ship it.

D.VA: i give up

LÚCIO: SHE ACCEPTS IT

D.VA: WHY WOULD YOU THINK I LIKE HER

D.VA: SHE HACKED MY STREAM

D.VA: INTELLIGENTLY BYPASSED SECURITY SYSTEMS AND HACKED A BIG TIME STREAMING SERVICE

SOMBRA: gracias, amor

ANA: OHOHOOHOO

LÚCIO: CONFIRMED

SOMBRA: tengo que irme, la policía está sobre mí de nuevo

SOMBRA: see you next stream, hana ;)

**[SOMBRA left SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

D.VA: NOW I HAVE TO LEARN SPANISH TO KNOW WHAT SHE SAID

D.VA: IM SO MAD ENOUGH INTERNET FOR TODAY

**[D.VA left SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

LÚCIO: that was fun

ANA: yeah, things are boring now

**[REAPER joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

REAPER: **Where's Sombra when you need her?**

ANA: cops

REAPER: **Oh.**

REAPER: **There's an accident at Talon only Sombra could fix.**

ANA: what happened

REAPER: **The espresso machine malfunctioned and I can't enjoy my dark roasted coffee at night anymore.**

ANA: you drink dark roasted coffee

ANA: at night

ANA: the next edgy tryhard thing you say will make me perform acupuncture on you and coat all the needles with jack's sweat

REAPER: **I've been through worse. The world changes a man.**

ANA: welp

ANA: haven't nano boosted myself in years

**[ANA went idle.]**

REINHARDT: i exit the bathroom and down the hall i see ana zooming out of the 3rd story window at mach 10 wtf

WINSTON: STOP BREAKING THINGS

REINHARDT: you should've said that before I used my hammer as a microphone in the shower

WINSTON: Why did I press the recall button?

REINHARDT: idk man, i was at a german pub winning an arm wrestling match and i got the notification

LÚCIO: I was at a rave party

GENJI: I was finding my inner peace

REAPER: **So you finally waged war, huh Overwatch?**

WINSTON: What are you taking about, Reaper?

REAPER: **We see that missile heading towards us.**

REINHARDT: that's ana

REAPER: **HOLY MOTHER OF**

REAPER: **SHE'S HEADED STRAIGHT TO MY ROOM**

REAPER: **SHE HAS A JAR OF WATER AND A NEEDLE GUN**

**[REAPER went idle.]**

WINSTON: This channel needs a break.

REINHARDT: boo

**[WINSTON closed SHRIMP SNACKS for 2:00:00.]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you enjoy? hope you did! thank you for actually taking the time to read ~w~


	5. 5. orisa and leaked christmas/chinese new year party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> respiratory system changes  
> don't let junkrat plan party celebrations  
> ana bullies mccree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE HALF A YEAR
> 
>  
> 
> THERE'S SO MUCH TO COVER
> 
>  
> 
> I DECIDED TO REVIVE THIS
> 
>  
> 
> I FAILED YOU ALL

**[Channel has been reopened.]**

D.VA: jfc is anyone still around

**[D.VA, ANA, HANZO, MCCREE, LÚCIO, TRACER, GENJI, JUNKRAT, REAPER, REINHARDT, and WINSTON joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

ANA: winston by 2:00:00 did you mean 2 years

WINSTON: Apologies. I was in disappointment and looked away after closing the channel.

LÚCIO: so how bout that christmas party?

MCCREE: don't

ANA: jesse did you like my gift

ANA: junkrat happened to help me with it

REAPER: **What was the gift?**

MCCREE: i opened it and got knocked out by a landmine that had the containments of ana's sleep darts

JUNKRAT: YOU FELL BACKWARDS AND KNOCKED OVER THE TREE LMAO

MCCREE: stop

D.VA: serves you right for throwing a flashbang at the dinnertable

MCCREE: ana gave me 50 bucks for it

WINSTON: That flashbang destroyed the dinner.

ANA: worth

HANZO: Remember when me and Genji were trying out our new equipment?

WINSTON: I'm so glad both of you destroyed only two rooms this year.

GENJI: It was all fun and games until Ana tried to overdose McCree in her steroids and hit me instead

ANA: that tree turned into a lumberjack's wet dream that night

MCCREE: i feel so bad for that tree

LÚCIO: thanks for the DDR machine, D.Va!

D.VA: hehehehe no problem

ANA: korexicans or korazillians

D.VA: you wanna go

WINSTON: What was that noise?

JUNKRAT: I WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH ROADIE AND USED A GRENADE INSTEAD

D.VA: weren't you near my room

JUNKRAT: ANA HELP ME SHE'S GONNA EXECUTE ME

D.VA: MY CONSOLES

ANA: if i get involved it'll get worse

WINSTON: Do any of you know how high the construction bills are every WEEK?

JUNKRAT: JUNKRAT'S MEMOIRS, PART 1: THE BATHROOM IS COLD. THE LOCKED DOOR GIVES ME A GOOD FEELING. THE-

GENJI: Oh no

HANZO: We should do something about that.

MCCREE: well its about high time for me to high tail outta here before I die

**[MCCREE has left SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

ANA: reinhardt could you do me a favor

REINHARDT: sure what's up

ANA: bring me back the cowboy dead or alive

REINHARDT: no that's mean

ANA: ill bake you cookies

REINHARDT: nano me, woman

**[REINHARDT has left SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

D.VA: just finished up beating an aussie

JUNKRAT: IM BREATHING OUT OF MY ASSHOLE

ANA: i don't think i can fix that up

D.VA: where's jesse i need to borrow his tumbleweeds

ANA: he's about to die

WINSTON: If he ends up dead, dibs on his hats.

LÚCIO: DIBS ON HIS VINYLS

**[ORISA has entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

WINSTON: Who-

ANA: wha-

LÚCIO: how-

JUNKRAT: MY ASSHOLE DOESN'T HAVE THE ABILITY TO COMPREHEND OXYGEN

ORISA: Why-

ORISA: Hello, Overwatch agents! My name is Orisa. I was built by Efi Oladele, a genius in robotics and my best friend!

D.VA: welcome to Overwatch, Orisa!

WINSTON: Oh, you're the newcomer I was informed about. Welcome to the team. Stop by my office and I'll give you a tour.

ORISA: Okay! All of you look so kind!

ANA: my sunscreen is too low for this ray of sunshine please help me

**[REINHARDT entered SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

REINHARDT: I got him alive but I may have permanently reworked his respiratory system

REINHARDT: Oh my god hello Orisa you are the best thing alive

ORISA: Thank you! Also, Winston, where's your office?

WINSTON: Down the hall you're currently in and after the two rooms that have been decimated by a game of baseball.

ORISA: Oh, I see it. On my way!

**[MCCREE has joined SHRIMP SNACKS.]**

WINSTON: MY HATS

MCCREE: my asshole can feel the atmosphere

JUNKRAT: IM NOT ALONE

D.VA: holy hell just go to angela

ANA: ill escort them there

MCCREE: hana have mercy save me

D.VA: nope, gotta fix my consoles

LÚCIO: Hey guys I cooked some dinner, you comin?

REINHARDT: YES

GENJI: WOOOOOOOOO BRAZILLIAN FOOD

ANA: hope this won't turn out like the chinese new year party

WINSTON: We all learned a lesson that day: Never. Give. Junkrat. Power.

JUNKRAT: I DIDNT USE FIREWORKS I USED ILLEGAL EXPLOSIVES IMPORTED FROM SHANGHAI

REINHARDT: god only half the entire base was still intact

REINHARDT: how do you manage to vaporize half the base with only 5 explosives?

JUNKRAT: CELEBRATORY DEALS ON SMALL NUCLEAR BOMBS

LÚCIO: I don't wanna celebrate Chinese New Year here again

ANA: you should've seen it 20 years ago

LÚCIO: What happened

ANA: i nano boosted gabriel and he turned into a living beyblade

REINHARDT: he took out 5 of the 10 support beams in the base

ANA: he also vomited more than when reinhardt walked in on me in the shower

REINHARDT: THAT WAS HORRIBLE I NEVER SAW YOU THE SAME FOR A MONTH

WINSTON: That was disgusting to clean up.

WINSTON: And to remember.

WINSTON: I'm going to cry in shame as I pay this week's construction bill.

WINSTON: Athena, play my "why did I recall overwatch" playlist.

ATHENA: Playing "Bring Me To Life."

D.VA: aaaaaaaaand that's where I leave

ORISA: Overwatch is great!

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Short one but I have more plans for the future!

**Author's Note:**

> ty for taking the time to read my first fic, you guys are the best :>


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